The 1 Person You Meet in Hollywood
I used to wonder why my co-workers were so fussy about keeping the office locked, but that was before I met yesterday's odd intruder. It was an experience worth sharing, but one that has also made me wiser. That's not to say, of course, that my prior stance was unjustifiable. Though I can't think of physical obstacle besides the lock that would stand between an ill-willed stranger and Suite 135, the random-osity of such a hypothetical has always kept my fear at bay. Plus, I'd imagine most strange visitors are into the "go big or go home" thing. The answer to that question entered the premises at around 10:41 yesterday morning, accompanied by a stack of loose papers and not much else. He cleverly introduced himself with all the boring words known to thwart further inquiry ("deputy", "inspector", "appraiser", "property", "tax", "local"), and subsequently showed me his files. Comprised of only an out-dated list of building tenants and some scrawled notes in the margins, the literature—and visit--felt alarmingly unofficial. My sentiments were compounded moments later when he entered the conference room to interrupt a meeting between the CEO and our editorial consultants. It was here that he requested only a business card, declaring that he was just "scouting" for his "group". We probably would have pressed our "scout" to reveal more about his group, but he had already switched into consumer mode. I'm usually flattered when someone develops an interest in the product upon hearing its name, but this was a bit much: he began dancing towards the table, bellowing, "Is this one of those online companies?!" He may have gotten an abridged explanation if no theatrics were involved (and if a meeting wasn't in progress), but was instead met with a polite request to leave. He departed, leaving me the rest of morning to analyze his behavior. It didn't take long for me to conclude the guy was creepy, but I also constructed two scenarios to explain his "boogying": On a side note, I'm pleased that someone finally made use of the chairs in our mini-lobby. Our inspector friend enjoyed the leather guest seats both before and after his ad-hoc meeting with the staff, and praised the lumbar support in particular. Comfort is one of the few areas where you can trust a stranger, so I accepted his review at face value. I now know how easily something bizarre can seep into the white-collar working day. Hopefully this newfound insecurity won't approach mania, because it would be tough to wire my cube with an alarm system. Peace, Love, Personalized Media. -John the Intern
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